A New Phonetic Alphabet

For those who don't like
Alpha, Bravo, Charlie, …

a mischievously misleading, ambiguous, phonetic alphabet using English homophones and given names

A
pref: ate or aubergine
letter: aitch(H), are(R), aye(I)
homophone: air(err, heir and Eyre), ait/ate(eight,8-ball), awed(odd), aisle(I'll and isle), aught(ought), auld(old)
variants: aesthetic/esthetic
silent initial letter: aesthete
analogue: chemical symbol for Silver (Ag) or Gold (Au)
name: Aaron(Erin), Ava(Ewa)
[misc.]: any(N.E.), au courant, aubergine, aura, auto(Otto)
[note]: aural and oral, although similar, are pronounced differently
B
pref: bdellium
silent initial letter: bdellium
description: the insect that makes honey (apian)
analogue: 300 in medieval Roman numerals [source (Alan Connor in the Gaurdian)]
[misc.]: baryon number [source (Alan Connor in the Gaurdian)]
C
pref: cue
letter: cue(Q)
silent initial letter: ctenophora or cnidaria
homophone: catarrh(Qatar), cede(seed), ceiling(sealing), cell(sell), cellar(seller), censor(sensor), cent(sent/scent), cereal(serial), chaos(KAOS), chic(sheik), choir(quire), chute(shoot), cite(sight/site), city(sitee), cling on(Klingon), coal(kohl), coy(koi), crew(krewe), cue(Kew/queue), curt(Kurt), curd(Kurd), or cymbal(symbol)
double letter phoneme: chai, charisma, chasm, chorus
variants: caffetan/cafetan/coftan/kaftan, catsup/ketchup, curb/kerb, cashmere/Kashmir?, czar/tsar
analogue: (One) hundred in Roman numerals
name: Caleigh, Carol(Karol), Catherine(Katherine), C. D.[as in C. D. Howe](seedy), Chagas disease, Cher(share), Cheryl(Sheryl), Chris(Kris), Cisco Systems [computer networks company](Sysco [food services corporation]), or Cyd [as in the late Cyd Charisse](Sid)
[misc.]: canine, ceilidh, celery, chimera, chi (χ and Χ, see also X), cigar or cucumber
D
pref: djin or double-U
homophone: djin(gin)
analogue: Five hundred in Roman numerals, penny/pence [source(Alan Connor in the Gaurdian)]
letter: double-U
name: Django
E
pref: ewe or eye
letter: eh(A), eks(X), ewe(U), eye(I)
homophone: eye(aye), earn(urn), eight(ait/ate), em (unit), ewe(you, yew), err(air, heir, Eyre), eves(Yves), ewer(your/you're), ex (unit) or eyelet(islet)
variants: esthetic/aesthetic, either(with an initial long-E or long-I)
analogue: 250 in medieval Roman numerals [source (Alan Connor in the Gaurdian)], former spouse (ex-)
name: Ellen, Erin(Aaron), Euler (as in Leonhard Euler), Eileen (when pronounced with an initial long-E), Eugene, Ewa(Ava) [link to pronunciation note (at www.pronouncenames.com)], Eyre (literary character and novel by Charlotte Brontë)
[misc.]: eau-de-Cologne, effluent, eider, elbow, elegiac, elevator, embrace, emend, Emmy(M.E.)[as in Emmy Award], envy(N.V.), escalator, eucalyptus (and eukaryote and Eureka etc.), excel(X.L.), excess(X.S.), explain, extra-large(XL), exquisite, euthanasia(youth in Asia), (or earl?)
[note]: Euston (the station) and Houston (the municipality), although similar, are pronounced differently
F
pref: faze
homophone: faro(pharaoh), faze(phase), felt(veld), few(phew), fie(phi), fill(Phil), fish(Phish), flocks(phlox)
analogue: chemical symbol for Iron (Fe)
G
pref: gneiss
silent initial letter: gnarl, gnat, gnaw(nah), or gnu(knew/new/nu)
homophone: gneiss(nice), gibe(jibe), genes(jeans), gest(jest), gym(jim) or gnu(new/nu/knew)
variants: gaol/jail, gel/jell
name: Gennifer [as in Gennifer Flowers] (Jennifer), Geoffrey(Jeffrey), Geri(Jerry)[as in Geri Halliwell], Gerry(Jerry)[as in Gerry Adams], Gilles(Jill) [link to sound file with pronunciation (at about.com)], Gzowski [as in the late CBC radio and TV show host Peter Gzowski]
[misc.]: gym(Jim)
H
pref: heir
silent first letter: honour, heir or hoard
homophone: heir(air/err/Eyre?), hoard/horde(whored), hole(whole) or hour(our & are)
analogue: aspiration(in phonetics), Eta (capital Greek letter η is the same grapheme as H in the Roman alphabet) or chemical symbol for Mercury (Hg)
name: Heloise, Hugo
[note]: Euston (the station) and Houston (the municipality), although similar, are pronounced differently
I
pref: isle
homophone: isle/I'll(aisle) or islet(eyelet)
analogue: One in Roman numerals and on some old typewriters, The perpendicular pronoun from The Skeleton in the Cupboard (an episode of the TV programme Yes Minister by Anthony Jay and Jonathan Lynn) or me
name: Iago, Ida (when pronounced with an initial long-E)
J
pref: jai alai or juan
homophone: jeans(genes), jim(gym), jibe(gibe) or jest(gest)
[misc.]: jai alai, jojoba, junta
variants: jail/gaol, jell/gel [I didn't think jell was a word but Emily Nussbaum used it in The New Yorker (2013-09-11, p. 85)]
name: Jeffrey(Geoffrey), Jennifer(Gennifer), Jerry(Geri/Gerry), Jian[as in musician and former CBC radio host Jian Ghomeshi], Jill(Gilles), Jim(gym), Jimenez [link to pronunciation note (at www.pronouncenames.com)], Johannes [as in Johannes Brahms], Juan(wan)
K
pref: Kew or potassium
silent initial letter: knight, knife, knit(nit), know or knot
homophone: KAOS(chaos)[see Wikipedia's disambiguation page for many meanings of KAOS], kernel(colonel), knave(nave), knead(need), knew(gnu/new/nu), knight(night), knob(nob), knock(nock), knot(not, naught, or nought), know(no), kohl(coal), koi(coy) or krewe(crew)
analogue: chemical symbol for Potassium (K)
variants: kaftan/caffetan/cafetan/coftan, kerb/curb, Kashmir/cashmere?, ketchup/catsup
name: Kew(cue/queue/Q)[as in Kew Gardens], Klingon(cling on), kneel(Neal/Neil/Niel), knoll(Nöel), Karol(Carol) [as in the late Karol Castillo], and Kris(Chris), Kurd(curd), Kurt(curt)
L
pref: 50
[misc.]: Llinás?
analogue: Fifty in Roman numerals [source], pound (Lb. or £)
M
pref: mnemonic
silent initial letter: mnemonic
analogue: (One) thousand in Roman numerals
[misc.]: M.E.(Emmy)[as in Emmy Award]
[note]: M.T. and empty, although similar, are pronounced differently
N
pref: nave or Sodium
silent initial letter: ngultrum [source (Ben Teitelbaum's The Devil's Alphabet website)]
homophone: nave(knave), new/nu (gnu/knew), night(knight), nit(knit), no(know), nob(knob), nock(knock), nose(knows), or not/naught/nought (knot)
analogue: Chemical symbol for Sodium (Na)
name: Neil/Niel(kneel) [see Dilbert cartoon for 1989-08-01], Noël[as in Noël Coward](knoll)
[misc.]: N.E.(any), N.V./NV(envy) [NV is the USPS abbreviation for Nevada]
O
pref: ours or zero
homophone: one(won), odd(awed), ought(aught), or ours?(hours)
letter: our & are(R)
analogue: hug (abbreviation), zero
name: Oedipus, Ouija, Otto(auto)
[misc.]: oenophile? onion?
[note]: aural and oral, although similar, are pronounced differently
P
pref: pneumonia or urine [if you must]
homophone: phase(faze), pharaoh(faro), phew(few), phlox(flocks), Phish(fish)[the musical troupe] psalter(salter), Greek letter Ψ(sigh)
silent initial letter: pneumonia [source (the great Lily Tomlin, of course)], pneumatic, psalm, psalter, psyche or pterodactyl
double letter phoneme: phone or pharoah
analogue: chemical symbol for Lead (Pb), Rho (capital Greek letter ρ is the same grapheme as P in the Roman alphabet), urine(a puerile pun, sorry)
name: Phil(fill), Psmith (literary character from P. G. Wodehouse), Ptolemy
[misc.]: p.h.a.t. (abbreviation for pretty hot and tempting)(fat), physics, physique
Q
pref: quay
letter: queue(Q)
homophone: quay(key), queue(cue/Kew), quire(choir) or qat(cat)
analogue: character played by John de Lancie on Star Trek: The Next Generation, etc. or character played by Desmond Llewelyn in many James Bond movies
name: Qatar(catarrh)
R
pref: rye
homophone: rap(wrap), reck(wreck)?, rest(wrest), right(write), ring(wring), Ritz(writs), rot(wrought), rung(wrung), rye(wry)
letter: R(our & are)
analogue: (prescription) [source (Tristan Miller)], Thursday[abbreviation]
name: Rennes(wren), Rex(wrecks)
S
pref: see or serial
letter: sea/see(C) or seize(plural of C)
homophone: salter(psalter), scent/sent(cent), sealing(ceiling), seed(cede), seedy(C. D.[as in C. D. Howe]), sell(cell), seller(cellar), sensor(censor), serial(cereal), sheik(chic), sight/site(cite), sitee(city), sigh(Greek letter psi), or symbol(cymbal)
analogue: chemical symbol for Tin (Sn) or Antinomy (Sb)
name: Sheryl[as in Sheryl Crow](Cheryl), Sid [as in the late Sid Caesar or the late Sid Vicious] (Cyd), Sysco [food services corporation] (Cisco Systems [computer networks company])
T
pref: tsunami or tsar
silent initial letter: tsunami or tsar
double letter phoneme: tsar
variants: tsar/czar
name: Taoism[see Derek Lin's prounciation note at taoism.net]
U
pref: urn or Uighur
homophone: urn(earn), urine(you're in), use(youse)
[misc.]: Uighur, uke?
V
pref: 5
analogue: Five in Roman numerals [source]]
homophone: veld(felt)
W
pref: why or Tungsten
letter: why(Y)
analogue: chemical symbol for Tungsten (W) (aka Wolfram)
homophone: wan(Juan), whole(hole), whored(hoard/horde), won(one), wrap(rap), wring(ring), writs(Ritz), wrought(rot), wry(rye), wrung(rung) or wrest(rest)
silent initial letter: whole, whored, wrangle, wrap, wreak, wreck, wrest, wring, writs, wrought, wrung or wry?
name: Weber[as in Max Weber], wren(Rennes), Wyoming
X
pref: xenophobia
homophone: X.L.(excel), X.S.(excess)
analogue: XL (extra-large[abbreviation]), Ten in Roman numerals, kiss (abbreviation) also 50 proof, strike etc. [see The Free Dictionary's What does X stand for ? for many meanings of the abbreviation X] Greek letter Chi (see also C)
[misc.]: xenophobia, or xylophone
Y
pref: Ypsilanti or you
letter: you(U)
homophone:yew/you(ewe), your/you're(ewer) or youse(use)
analogue: Upsilon (capital Greek letter υ is the same grapheme as Y in the Roman alphabet)
name: Yves(eves), Yvette or Yvonne
[misc.]: Ypsilanti, Yttrium, or Ytterbium
Z
pref: zee or 2000
[misc.]: zee?, zhuyin zimu? (or zhuyin), Zoque, zwieback?, zwitterion?
name: Zhivago [source (Tristan Miller)]
analogue: atomic number (in Chemistry), impedance (in Physics), 2000 in medieval Roman numerals (Chamber's Dictionary, 12th ed.)
0
nun
Oh
the operator
1
past of to win
2
half a ballet dress
3
as in three for a dollar?
4
what people yell on a golf course
5
as in the number of pins in five-pin bowling???
V (Roman numeral)
6
Latinate sex???
7
as in lucky number …
8
eaten
9
not in German